Leathol Pistol

I feel so alone.
No one to love me, no one to care for me
Heart stuck in limbo
Want to be set free
Just want to be happy
Why cant it be
Stay awake at night, thinking of what might become
Stay by the phone hoping it will ring
Cant live like this
Thought things would be different
Things never change
She only keeps me around for one thing
I don’t see how this will work
So many rules
Try hard not to break them
End up walking on eggshells.
Cant live like this
Want to be free
Want to be in love
Don’t know if its there anymore
Just want things like they used to, but then I don’t
Just with some people would make up their minds
And know how much it hurts to be left at their whim
I don’t think she cares
I’m just a toy
I feel like her puppet
I’ve been here a while, not yet has she come by
Now she thinks we are seeing each other too much, I haven’t even seen her in almost a year
Why?
Why do I subject myself to this? I know why cause my heart is in love with her
And I cant stop, just when I got over her..Ring..Ring she loves me again
Couldn’t have been better even if it was planned.
I don’t know why she does it, is she afraid of being alone
She has so many guy who would popup when I am gone
Why does she choose me? Why am I special
I don’t know why I bother, she’s leaving in the fall to NY
And things will never be the same no matter what she says
But damn I love her and want to make it work so bad
But her plans have changed
And I don’t think I belong in them anymore
I think I’m just unstable
God I don’t know why im soo depressed lately
Maybe coming back here was a mistake, the moment I set back into this city, my stomach churned….it was easier being so far away
Im 24 and I need to figure out something to do with my life. Gees.
I think I just complain too much
Anyways so I went downtown the other day and the café I always went to is gone
That was a huge blow, now I have nowhere to call home, I really counted on that place.
And all my friends are nowhere to be found, it has been 8months, what did I expect.
I don’t know why I ran way, but I’m going to stop doing that now.
Yeah this is so not gona work oh well I just need to get over her.
I don’t know why she is doing this to me, I don’t deserve this