Leathol Pistol

Thursday, August 26, 2004

waking up from a drug induced coma

Well today started like any other day, the strangely familiar piercing daylight peaking in through the velvet curtains, my body not wanting to get up and face another day that brings me closer to the end of the world. But alas, i do it anyways, why? i do not know, maybe i like the torture, maybe i like the pain, the familiar pain of my existence that keeps me going toward an inevitable end...sigh..as i sit in my aprtment alone and think about my life up until that moment, a thought comes to mind, what is that thought you may ask, the thought of my time on this piece of rock wasted away pursuing somethig i do not want, following the dreams and paths of my forfathers only to come to a place i do not want to be. All this in vain, looking for a sign from above, a second chance to make things right and make ammends for my sins. I fell form the sky and have no way of getting back up there. everyday seems like it could be the last and im sick to think what if it is. But then i dont know why i care, i go through the day mostly oblivious of this fact unitl..wham it stricks me and i see things from outside my body and realize how insignificant it all is. The bridges i have burnt, no way of going back and repairing them, cant escape the past, no hope of changing the future. i truly am eternally confussed, it is my curse, the cross i must bare. I surround myself with material posessions in the hopes that they will make me happy, only to find out they make me feel guilty and like a sell out. I only take, and give nothing. the minimal amount of space i take up will not be missed, perhaps by a few people, but in the greater scheme im just a speck of dust on a little rock in a vast universe of nothingness. alas i must stop..goodnight and farewell..

posted by leatholpistol  # 10:50 AM 0 comments

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